Seniors ETC - In-home senior, parent, companion care, hospice support in Colorado

Every year we start out with goals and resolutions for ourselves. But what about the one you are caregiving for? Start them out this year by making sure you have everything in place.

1. Do you have all of your new medical information together? December is a time for change; verify that you have all updated medical ID cards, and all medical and prescription program information together.

2. Are all of your loved one’s prescription purchased from the same place? If not, have a pharmacist review all medicines to help avoid adverse drug reactions.

3. Have your loved ones received their flu and pneumonia vaccinations? Its important to have these in place to prevent sickness during the next few months.

4. Have your loved ones received their annual checkups, both medial and vision? Make sure you request a hearing exam during their annual checkups.

5. Have your loved ones checked home security systems? Install fire and carbon monoxide alarms, check and replace batteries in existing alarms, and replace old alarms that are more than a few years old.

6. Is your parent’s home energy efficient? Have heating systems inspected and change air filters. Weatherize doors and windows. Install fluorescent light bulbs. Insulate pipes, both inside and out, and hot water heaters.

7. Is your loved one still driving? Verify when their driver’s licenses need to be renewed. Inspect their automobiles for safety and emission inspections. Verify auto insurance premiums and coverage.

8. Have your parents prepared and filed all necessary tax filings? Review all forms of income, and make sure you have everything in place for tax filing.

9. Are your loved ones on the DO NOT CALL registry? This is a good way to stop phone calls that may open up your loved ones to scam calls.

10. Have your parents completed a home inventory? List all important items and documents, and have the information in one secure place.

Has your life been touched by Alzheimer’s or dementia?

According to the 2007 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, one out of eight people 65 and older, and nearly one out of every two over the age of 85 has it. Currently in the United States there are more than 5 million people living with Alzheimer’s and almost 10 million caring for someone with the disease.

For early stage patients, concentrate on giving a gift that will help them through the early states of the disease.

Keep them organized with things such as magnetic reminder refrigerator pads, baskets and trays for labeling, journal or notebook for hand reminders, and erasable whiteboards for each room of the house. Create memorable calendars, notepads, and other items using family photos. Be sure to record important dates, such as birthdays, to help alleviate stress.

Also look for items that can help with daily activities in new and fun ways. Memory phones offer the ability to store family and friends’ numbers, and be easily connected by pushing a button with a photograph. Clocks come in all shapes and sizes, and can provide large type and displays. Consider a clock that tells the day of the week, dates, as well as time.

Want to add some entertainment to your loved one’s life? Try taking him out to a play, concert, sporting event, or museum. A CD or DVD can also bring enjoyment. Or consider scrapbooks or other craft projects that bring social activity into his/her life.

Have a caregiver in your life? Don’t forget this special person during the holidays. Provide them with a gift to help relieve stress, or provides a few hours of free time.

Gift certificates, either handmade within the family or through a service, for items like house cleaning, meal preparation, lawn mowing/snow removal, laundry services, and personal pampering such as massages, facials or manicures/pedicures.

Books are also great gifts. Try giving a novel-for-pleasure paired with a book created to assist caregivers, such as:
· “Alzheimer’s: A Caregiver’s Guide and Sourcebook,” by H. Gruetzner
· “Caring for Your Parents In Their Senior Years: A Guide For Grown-up Children” by William Molloy

Above all, give of yourself. Whether you have a caregiver, a loved one with Alzheimer’s, or both, time is the most precious gift you can give. Give your time throughout this holiday season. Ask what means the most to them. You’ll all be rewarded!

Jonnelle Leimbach is the co-owner and President of Seniors Etc, an in-home caregiver company helping seniors stay in their homes for as long as possible. Seniors Etc currently serves the Denver Metro area in Colorado, and provides a variety of services, including light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminders, hospice assist, respite care and companionship. Sign up for our report, How To Tell When Your Family Is Ready For Homecare at http://seniorsetc.com/

The days are long. Often there is no message of “thanks” or “I appreciate you”. In fact at times it can be down right difficult to make it through the day.

The life of a caregiver can be all consuming. In fact family caregivers suffer from major depression much more frequently than the rest of the population. Yet when a caregiver suffers, ultimately so does the family member or friend he or she is taking care of.

If you are a caregiver, or have a caregiver in your life, learn to watch for the warning signs of depression. Depression is more than feeling sad, or being unhappy. It’s a disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss or frustration last for long periods of time, and actually interfere with everyday life.

Depression is usually triggered by stressful or unhappy life events, and caregiving can play on both. Family caregiving is considered the most stressful experience because of the high emotions and attachment to the patient. Family caregivers caring for a parent experience symptoms of depression twice as often as non-caregivers, and family caregiving spouses experience symptoms six times as often as non-caregivers.

One of the quickest ways of determining whether you are experiencing symptoms of depression is to take a depression-screening test. You can find resources online, such as depression-screening.org, or consult with your physician. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

As a family caregiver, ask for both emotional and physical help from the beginning. Don’t wait until you become overwhelmed. Ask other family members for support, and reach out to your community, such as your church group. The more connected you feel to others, the less isolated you will feel.

Be conscious of what you are capable of. Planning is often one of the best steps to prevention, as it allows you to limit your activities to those things that matter most to you. Don’t be afraid to say no, and don’t take on more than you can handle. Realize caregiving often takes more time than you imagine, and constantly worrying about other activities will not only add to your stress, but also to your loved one.

If you think you are becoming overwhelmed, or have feelings of depression, start connecting with others. Talk to you doctor and seek medical help. Also reach out to caregiving communicates that can put you in touch with like-minded people. Check with your doctors for local resources, or jump online and join family caregiver discussion groups, such as the boards on National Family Caregivers Association’s website nfcacares.org. 

Remember to take care of yourself first. You won’t be able to care for your loved one if you are sick or in the hospital. Taking care of you is the start of taking care of your loved one.

Jonnelle Leimbach is the co-owner and President of Seniors Etc, an in-home caregiver company helping seniors stay in their homes for as long as possible. Seniors Etc currently serves the Denver Metro area in Colorado, and provides a variety of services, including light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminders, hospice assist, respite care and companionship. Sign up for our report, How To Tell When Your Family Is Ready For Homecare at http://seniorsetc.com/

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine…”

…changing our rules to change our lives.

Until you take on the role of family caregiver, you really don’t know what it means – the effect it has and will have on every aspect of your life.  One issue that family caregivers truly do not know until they’re ‘in it’ is the isolation they can experience - both physical and emotional.  If we reflect honestly, we know that in varying degrees, each of us plays a role in the creation of that isolation.  The good news is that we have the amazing power to change isolation into connection simply by changing our rules.

Most of our life choices are based on our values and strongly held beliefs about the way to live.  Often we live those values exactly as we learned them as children.  We seldom give them a second thought.  For us, these things just ‘are.’  As many of us take on caregiver roles in our 40s, 50s and 60s, however, we begin to discover that some of these values and the rules that support them continue to serve us well - and some do not.   

Do you have values and beliefs formed in childhood that create isolation and disconnection instead of association and connection?  My family of origin placed high value on independence and rugged individualism.  To “just ask” for help seemed fairly simple until I was the one asking. My rule: Others can and should ask for help, of course, but I shouldn’t.  That ‘rule to live by’ supports the value of independence and the belief that we can do just about everything on our own.  Asking for assistance is something others do.  Here’s the self-talk: “My family and friends should know what I’m going through and offer support.  I’ll just wait for that to happen.  I don’t need to hire someone to help me.  I can tolerate this exhausting and challenging situation a bit longer.”   Sound familiar?

Well, if you believe asking for help is tough, consider receiving.  Whew!

Those of us who have a problem asking also can have issues with receiving.  We’re trained to give and to be the ones to provide care.  When it comes time for us to be the recipient, our brains spin out thoughts that confirm feelings that, somehow, we’re lesser if we seek and accept assistance.

How do we change this lifetime of training?  To begin the positive cycle of asking and receiving, we must be aware of the issue and, then, focus on why we must change.  Explore what is lost if we do not change (our health, our relationships, our love of life, the pure joys of this experience….).  Better yet, explore what is gained if we do change (our health, our relationships, our love of life, the pure joys of this experience….)!  Then, just make a simple choice to ask for assistance.  When you take that first step, however tiny, everything changes.  By reaching out and asking, even once, you already have broken down some of the walls of long-held beliefs and behaviors.  You are on your way to identifying and examining and consciously deciding which of the hundreds, the thousands, of ‘rules to live by’ that you created are the ones to keep.  Just a simple choice - and that first asking can make all the difference.  

To make this learning stick, choose to be around people who encourage and support you and your valuable contribution.  Just one nourishing person can keep you on track and remind you of your value and of the positive choices you’re now making.  And when you have two, or three, or more of these folks who feed you emotionally and provide positive support, you’re well on your way to the wonderful ascending spiral of asking for and receiving the help you need to do your vital giving work.

Do you need a caregiver to provide respite care?  Do you want someone to clean your house or prepare a meal?  Would you like to get a chair massage?  Does a quiet in-home retreat sound like a needed break for you?  

Reach out and ask for needed help and support, whatever that looks like to you.  Tell others what you need.  Allow them to help you and to support your important role as a caregiver.  Accept their gifts of energy and time.  And express your gratitude through your healthy continuing contribution of loving care.

© HeartSong Retreats, Linda Lehman-Murphy 2007
    www.heartsongretreats.com

You’ve got cancer.

It’s a heart attack.

She has Alzheimer’s.

Each day, people across the globe are hearing these phrases for the first time. After the initial shock wears off, reality sets in.

Who’s going to drive her to the doctor’s office every week?
Who’s going to keep her house clean?
Who’s going to make sure she’s taking all of her medicine?
Who’s going to make sure she’s eating correctly?

How am I going to do all of this, and work my full time job? And take care of my own family?

According to the National Family Caregivers Association, more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year. The typical family caregiver is a 46-year-old woman caring for her widowed mother who does not live with her. She is married and employed.

And she is overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a job you apply for, or work into it over time. It’s usually something that springs upon you rather quickly, and something that causes immediate adjustment to your already busy schedule.

But there are things you can do to bring balance to your life.

1. Schedule time specifically for each activity. Don’t let your caregiver’s role engulf you. Schedule time each day for every part of your life. Talk to your employer about flex time, and see if you can work earlier or later hours, depending on what’s best for you. Organize your day to doing a little bit in all areas.

2. Rely on others to help. This isn’t a time to think you can handle it all yourself. Sit down and talk with your spouse and children about taking over more of the household chores. Speak with other family members to help out one day a week.

3. Don’t say yes to more than you can handle. If you’ve always been the one to volunteer for the school parties and to organize the fundraising drive, think again. Offer to help at simpler tasks that still allow you to become involved, yet don’t take the time or commitment. Never give an immediate yes; always ask for a day to think about it, and see if you can put it into your schedule.

4. Ask for help. Realize your limitations. Now more than ever, there are many ways to approach and complete your tasks. In-home care is a reliable alternative for you to ensure the safety and well-being of your loved one. An in-home care specialist can help with simple things like driving to doctors appointments, ensure meal preparation and clean up, or personal hygiene, including bathing and grooming help.

5. Find resources in your area. Check with your local hospital, doctor’s office, or senior resource center for more information. Many communities have resource books that provide you with a wealth of information on local care providers. Learn as much as you can each step of the way, preparing yourself for more difficult future events.
Jonnelle Leimbach is the co-owner and President of Seniors Etc, an in-home caregiver company helping seniors stay in their homes for as long as possible. Seniors Etc currently serves the Denver Metro area in Colorado, and provides a variety of services, including light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminders, hospice assist, respite care and companionship. Sign up for our report, How To Tell When Your Family Is Ready For Homecare at http://SeniorsEtc.com